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Eric Wrenn
...Empty Weed Bags In The Stairwell
An approximately 300 pound and very black Puerto Rican man lives next door and occasionally smokes a blunt wearing silk boxer shorts in the hallway. Also in the hallway are leaking, re-purposed plastic grocery bags of garbage, which, when aided by the strength of a man’s arm, are destined to shift to the row of communal metal trashcans chained to the building outside.
I came back to my new apartment building one day to find a familiar manila-yellow piece of packaging with built-in bubble-wrap ripped open and empty in the
entryway. It had been opened by someone else in the building and was addressed from Michigan. It’s contents were determined later: two packages of M&Ms candy, a new pair of socks, and love.
I posted a note in purple paintmarker which read “Thief: Please enjoy the care package from my mother” which was also stolen the next day.
Franz The Cat
A lot of roommates moved in and out of my last apartment. We collected different types of forks. The most recently departed (and longest-running, and least favorite) roommate was “N,” a Long Island transplant and private-school schoolteacher of, among others, Damon Dash’s son. Damon Dash was co-founder of Roc-A-Fella Records alongside Jay-Z.
He also produced a reality show for BET called “Ultimate Hustler” and was engaged to Aaliyah. She had a pale complexion and naturally red hair but was, for some reason, compelled to dye it to an even brighter shade of something I could describe in a jiffy as “apricot in pool of dried blood.”
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